Take...and take some more.......

Hey You…

    The greedy one..

Yes I am talking to you…

Bleeding people dry..

With no conscience…

Not a care for the without..

Going on about your business..

    Plundering, stealing…ravaging…

Corrupt to the core….

..Shamelessly parading the greed…

Thinking of others;a myth to you..

Always about you...what you want,need..must have…

     Enriching self…insatiable thirst for more..

Overflowing; going to waste…

You are drowning;Yet you want more…..

I scream from the depths of my belly…

    But to a deaf ear…

No attention paid…

…preoccupied with acquiring more…

Greediness always takes center stage….

    Selfish lot…what a shame!!

I shudder..I cringe at the narcissism....

My heart bleeds….

            The blatant justification of it….

..No consideration for the one who lacks…

Hard work takes a back seat…

Scavenging on the one who toils….

…pouncing on the another’s bountiful; harvest…

Leaving them with nothing….

How pathetic!!

I am..Disgusted…disappointed…disenchanted…..

I cry inside…

Wondering,does it ever stop?

When will you ever look this way..

See the suffering,the anguish…

...A result of your arrogance…greed…selfishness

You mock me with the handouts…

Yet you ride on my sweat; my sincere toil…

Your soul is consumed with the lust to have more..

Blinded by the desire to excess…

   exploiting the masses…feeding your greed….

I weep…my heart bleeds…

..Yet I thank you...

because as i see the filthiness of it....

..I shall never desire to be like you....

The Eccentrik!!

Never in doubt ..confusion not an option..
Impatient of the human pendulums...
Never afraid to embrace the un known....
Bored by the mundane....

Addicted to the Spontaneous....

Unpredictable...unconventional...

A constant rebel....

Fascinated by the mystery...the unknown

Embracing the weird..the different.....

unashamed of the oddness..

Everything is different through their eyes...

Always on the fast lane....

Stubborn dreamer....

An explosion of pictures in the mind....a carnival...

Drawn to the madness...the excitement...

Enchanted by the broken....the scarred....

Loners..reclusive...

Entertained by own company....

Trapped in the walls of the cranium..

Aloof...indifferent to the going ons....

 

Irritated by the crowd...

..Uncomfortable with the mass thinkers...

Unperturbed by the societal norms......

..Their shallow speech....nauseating...

The dull mind puts you to sleep..

A need for adventure....mental challenge....

A beautiful intelligent mind...

..You possess...

Fascinated by the Arts...beautiful music...

Intensity of it..unable to express....

Emotions heightened....exaggerated....

To love is to possess...a dangerous affair...

Loving so hard you can barely breathe...

Ordinary has no place to sit...

...Simplicity; a complicated affair...

The Mental vigour...the Moral courage....

...The Genius.....

Such are few...hard to find.....

 ..But when you do find...your whole word turns upside down....

With magnificence and awe....

BellaDonna.....

Plum lips... succulent..cherry sweet.
..irresistibly kissable..
silky smooth skin..kissed by the sun...
..Complexion like chocolate butter...
oh so soft.

..Her Scent...soaked in Jasmine,vanilla
...and just a hint of fresh magnolia...
..heavenly..insanity bounds you...

Such beauty...incomprehensible

Flawless are those curves..cut with precision...
A masterpiece...breath taking....

The smile daunting...
The eyes..oh those beautiful eyes...
..The sparkle...like diamonds....
cheek bones ..so high up...sculpted with passion....

The breasts oh so perky and sweet....
..stirring your innermost desires...
Your inhibitions..go free...just by a glance....
..the strong urge to touch;like fire burning inside....

Such is the grace in her walk....
..genteel in her ways..proper..sophisticated...
..a slight hint of naughtiness bubbling under...
Her voice;the softness caresses your being...
..Her whispers...like the fresh sea breeze on your face...


The arch of her back....Picasso....
...the waist..perfection...
the urge to wrap your arms around...magnetic...
..The longing to cover her body with sweet sensual soft kisses..
..feel her moan with insane pleasure...

..you can hardly breathe...oh such magnificence....

Immortality is a possibility...
..she cannot be of this world....
..angelic....serenity that she oozes...
The gentleness of her touch.....goose pimples....

Beautiful long legs....madness grips you....
You cant help but think....
....where they meet....a soft honey pot...
..Feel her warmth..discover her sweet dark secrets....

But she is forbidden...
The intense desires..cannot be quenched..
..Forever tortured by the want...the need...the desire..
..But you can never touch..
...You can never feel...
........You can never taste.....

Just your eyes...
..Lustful thoughts imprisoned in your mind...
your soul tormented...your spirit troubled..

...but you can never have her.....
...She belongs to the gods.....

The silliness that is hope....

Waiting for things to change...
Hope against hope that you will be surprised..
But to no avail..
Alas things are just the same...
Different faces..same old shit inside....
Human coconuts....
Very unassuming..hard..cold..unmoved externally..
Inside...softness and freshness awaits...but is it so?
The genuineness of it all....missing...
Masks all around....
....or is it their real faces staring back at you

Trying to please...trying to be loved...desperate actually....
Asking for what you know does not exist...
Like calling out for a dodo bird.....
Facing the reality....scary...
Knowing the truth....unacceptable...
You lie to yourself......
You are desperate to touch that which is inside..
You say you want to embrace it....be consumed by it..
But you are not ready...nor prepared..
you are not brave enough to let it engulf you..
The uncertainty..the mystery..
Though tempting...it will ultimately destroy...
But you still push.....

Striving to bring down the walls....
...Wanting to see what dwells within....
Are you ready...are you willing to take the ride...
Would you rather be safe..or risk it...
Is it the love..the passion...or stupidity...
The darkness is pulling you in....
The imaginary thrill that you hope for...
You sense the stiffness...so cold like steel....
But you still extend your hand....

Digging deeper..wanting more....
Yet,Emptiness is the only thing that awaits...
The need to live dangerously...
Awake the wild child....you say...
dance at the edge of the end..
Willing to let go and fall so far...
An endless pit of unknown awaits with open arms..
......But you hope to fall into an ocean of bliss....
As you go further down...you still hope..
Hope and hope some more...yet you see the emptiness...
And when finally you hit the bottom....
Its only dust,darkness and despair....
...oh golly you still grope in the dark for something good...
..Funny or ridiculous??


But why persist..insist to unwrap this parcel...
Why do you feel attracted to it....yet you know what awaits....
...You hope that this is not the case...
Convinced that there is plenty of goodness..
undiscovered oasis of pleasure that awaits....
yet you are drowning in constant fail..disappointments....

Oh Hope such a silly thing...
..Yet without it;you feel helpless....
So you keep to that path....
...and continue with this journey.....
Not knowing what you will find...
...Holding onto the expectations and assumptions..
the treasures you seek....you hope to find...
so you go on...ignoring all the rest....
..Such is the thrill of the unknown...
The relentlessness of hoping....
..That single red rose...growing in the abandoned city's ruins...

Erosion....

Common sense..
Sadly lacked by many..
The logic that is glaring at you..
You cannot see..
Asking too many stupid questions..
why cant you think....
Your brain is sluggish...
..imbibing too much nonsense...
You want to waste time..in fantasies..
Myths and fallacies..
Argue about it for hours..and you are the loudest....

What are you yapping about...
You still don't make any sense..
No one is listening..
The persistence to make no point..agonizing..
I can see your lips move..but you say nothing....
Dwelling on trivialities....and
....Conversations that lead nowhere,...
Everyone trying to seem an expert..
Yet they are clueless....
So much noise....
...No order in speech..
bla bla bla every second...

Really what are you saying..what are you talking about...
Think before engaging...
Use your common sense before acting....
Process...before you open your mouth....
Desecrating Dialogue....
Suffocating the rationale...
...pragmatism,lacking..
Just innuendos and tales...fairy tales...
Only speak to make sense...or...
........Shut up if that is a task in futility....

Exhausted....

Getting tired..
Fed up...
No longer wielding the patience...
Too many excuses....
I no longer want to hear..
Nor Care to listen....

Getting weary of the nonsense..
Putting up with it all...
Being taken for granted....
Something beyond my understanding...
Human beings are unbearable...
Like a constant yanking of your insides....mind numbing pain....
The energy ,the strength to cajole....Lost....

I need to breathe..
Am suffocating in this hip of trash...
The trash of the disloyal,the ungrateful,the pretense...
Tired of useless bonds...
Meaningless connections..
Leading nowhere....

Tired of letting it pass...
Forgive and forget..
Understand,empathize,sympathize..
What do i get in return...Nothing..
Going along with it...
Pretending to agree....yet i want to scream....

They spit on your face....and expect you to stay...
They mock,ridicule....and expect you to accept it...
They drain you dry and still expect you to give....
They choke you endlessly...
..still expecting you to find the breath....

Tired of all of it...
Morons,imbeciles....ingrates...
Superficial cretins...the nauseating moral bible belts..
Preaching....crashing my eardrums with the hypocritical words....
Tired of all of it....
I need peace... I need serenity....I need a drink!!

...

Enslaved....

Tell me why you take the crap..
Why do you put up with it..?
is it the need to please..
Or you are being reasonable...
So much fuss for what..
So much drama for whom?
Why does it seem like you are buying time..?.
Time to do what..
Are you relishing the attention..
Are you marinating in the misery...
No happiness is in this...

There is no colour in your life..
No clarity..No truth...
Just dullness...void...a deep hole....Lies
Holding on for what..?
What are you afraid of losing..?
What do you have anyway..?
Are their any gains..benefits..?
Why hold onto pain..
why dance to despair...?
Why play a flute to the snake..?
...yet you know the venom will kill you.....
Drowning in such sadness..
whatever for?....
Do you await a big event..
A sudden moment that will set you free...
...Do you think its your fate...?

Do you feel you are bound to this path..?
is it you destiny to be unhappy...
The chains of misery...holding you down....
Why are you not fighting to let loose....?
Do you not see You are fading....
Disappearing in the mess....
Blinded by the soft whispers...
Misguided by the sweetness in the eyes...
The soft caress...you forget the pain..
Only for a second..a minute....
And the cycle starts allover again....

You complain,but you are not leaving..
Its like you are glued..
You are frozen in the time...
The moment that is corrupt....
The disdain..not enough to make you run....
Losing yourself.....
Acceptance of the constant madness...
drawn to the wreck of a human being....
A slave to the chaos...!!!!

...

Incomplete Happiness................

The cold wind on my face...my hair..
The permanent smile on my face..
Such serenity..such peace..
Not a care in the world...
Away from the never ending troubles...
The things i dislike..detest....
Just me and this wonderful aura...
Am high on all of it.................


Such coolness..such beauty...such contentment...
No words to express the happiness inside....
My mind at ease...my heart filled with fulfillment...
Am at the epitome of what they call bliss....
Walking on the streets....blazed on weed....
No looking behind..whose there...
Secure in the silence.....the strangers passing by....
Humming to my favourite ballads....
My being jazzed with it all................

Such freedom...liberty......
Not a worry in sight...no pain lurking in the dark...
No secrets waiting to destroy the stillness...
No disillusion..No pretense....
No animosity...no ill....
Just bare..naked....untainted path...

The timing...perfect...
Environment....uplifting...
the people...oh so refreshing....
The thoughts...plum with positivity...sweetness....
I have longed for this..too long...its been..
Finally am here...that place...
Safe...warm....promising...
No judging..no criticism....just acceptance.......

But I miss...
The kisses....
The hand holding....
The laughter...silliness...
The familiar......the comfort zone.....
The ordinary....the routine.....

I miss it all..I miss the friends...I Miss You...................................*

Lustful Heights...

Stuck in a limbo full of pleasantry…
The disconnection from the norm…the mundane
The desolate state of my mind..
A prisoner of my own thoughts…
As dark as they are erotic..
As powerful as they are haunting…

A slave to my own lustful desires…
So much passion I can barely breathe..
Wrapped up in its intensity..
The yearning ravaging through my whole being…
Like fire I want to be consumed with the forbidden pleasures…

My loin is burning, about to burst into flames…

My tongue yearning to lick…
The wetness driving me insane….
Oh the sweet smell…like an oasis of the sweet worldly scents
Like honey so sweet to the taste….

All the nerves in my body….open….raw…
A single touch and it goes into chaos….exciting chaos….
Sweating through every pore in my skin…
My thoughts take over my body….

Trembling…shaking….
Burning with the desire….painful yet sweet….
I cannot take it any longer…
I reach out….caressing and massaging…
Slowly, gently…teasingly..…

My heart pounding louder…
The warmth…the softness…the wetness…
Moaning with pleasure…
Orgasmic bliss….a point of no return….

The Recluse....

This path of lonesomeness...
These walls full of dejection...
This emptiness...Embraced
The black hole within your spirit....

The aloofness of your soul...
The thoughts that occupy the mind..
The conversations with self...
Sometimes loud enough..others can hear..
Unabashed though...are you going insane....

The numbness of it all...
The stillness...eery..but wonderful...

What do you search for..
What does your soul seek?
The self indulgence...
The space...uncorrupted....

Please Stay away...
Dont come close...
Do not stain the purity of the indifference...
No speech...Just silent...
Words..an energy-draining task....
The act of conversation..
The mindless chit-chat...
The forced interactions...suffocating....

Moods in upheaval...Protesting interference...
The rude interruptions by others...
Annoying questions with no answers....
Irritated by unwanted company....

Engaging in meaningless banter...endlessly
Socializing...now up in flames....
Staying out of it...all has been well before..
Keep to self..Keep to own...
The bliss,that is solitude....
Never ending peace...and to hell with the rest....

Let it be..............

Having more is not essentially better..
Minimal can be satisfying...
The greed..destroys...
All is well as is..no need to stir it up...
The curiosity to know more..why?
The urge to want more..what for?


Knowing more is not wise...
The ugliness behind it..too much
Too overwhelming,to handle....
Expectations met with disappointments...
The still waters...let them alone...
Do not make a move..not even a whisper..
The risk of awakening the demons...
The hidden ugly secrets...
Just let it be..
Dont uncover..dont ask...no need to find out....

The truth does not set you free...
It burns you..taints your purity...
No need to know..dont ask....
The silence is for a reason...
Look away...walk away....
You are saving yourself..saving your life....

That Place in my mind....

Take me far away..
Away from all these..
All that I fear..
All that I sneer upon….
The mockery..The shame....
The pretense…take me away from all of it...

I want to run..
Run away to the land that don’t exist..
Where all is perfect..
No suffering…No Despair….
Where loyalty reigns….
Laughter leads….
The heart guides without being afraid…..

The heavenly place..
Where there is cheer and laughter..
Where there is serenity….
So much peace….
No troubles…only blessings….


Freedom that is good..
No hindrances..No judgments….
Speak thy mind….share thy feelings…..
Where nothing is forbidden…
All is good in the eyes of them that are there..…
Appreciation..Applause…..
Commendations..Success!!

The land where the spirituality blooms..
Faith is affirmed..guarded..never shaken…
Your beliefs treasured…respected…..
Your ideals upheld….
Moral values exist...have meaning…..

Take my hand and lead me there..
Forever; never to come back..
To the land of sweet scents..
Intoxicated with goodness…
A simplicity beyond knowledge….
A mind-blowing calm…..
Freshness of the air..heals you….inspires you…..

A place that only exists in thy mind;of never ending bliss.....

A dangerous affair.......

Emotions, the burden that it is..
Feelings a never ending turmoil…
The rationale, the logic..
Taken away….no longer present….


No time to think…
No time to stop and ask questions….
No time to reflect..exhale…
No time to take it back…


Like a roller-coaster not able to stop…
Like the hurricane carrying you away..
Too much damage already done…
Fixing it…a draining task…..

Enslaved by that which hurts….
Imprisoned…not able to cut loose…
Everything is pitch black..
Dense..No light…
No air..suffocation….
Blood rushing from your head..
Heart pounding….crashing…
Blood pumping…
Your blood vessels almost exploding..

Decisions made..without thinking twice..
Hurtful Words..
Hateful Speech ……
Spiteful talk..ill intentions..
Dark thoughts…
A cold heart, Ice cold…
You shiver..you are freezing…
No warmth left…...

Its justice you say....
Justified to hate..disparage..
Not a care in the world….You lose yourself..
Drown in all the bile….
Laughter gone…only a frown remains
Bitterness consumes you….
Revenge devouring you....
Engulfed by the violence within...
Dry eyes..No tears...
Emptiness staring back in the mirror....


A myriad of emotions gripping you….
You can’t breathe..You can’t think….
You dont want to...You dont dare let go...
Totally cornered...
Sensitivity..consideration…gone..
Conscience..humanity...Out of the window!!

Like a rolling stone down a hill….
The rumble of words..
Tongue lashing..unable to stop…..
You are losing what you care for…
You are blinded..You can’t see it..You are numb…..You cant move...
The ego of your emotions..Too proud to back down…


Struggling to get back control….
Battling to get back, the humane you…
Claim back the rational you……the caring you….
But it's too late..You have Lost it all....
Submersed in a bottomless pit of nothingness....

The Randomness that is Me....A Right to be Me......

The right that is mine..
To refuse to love..
To refuse to be owned..
To refuse to be locked up…
….In a meaningless relationship….
To run away from what I know..
Is trouble…
..What shall not yield fruit…I stay away from…
What shall not add any value to my life….
..I keep out eternally…

To avoid friends who are choking..
Unhealthy..detrimental to me..
..my well-being that I care for….Treasure
To refuse to engage in..
….Mindless banter..
To keep in touch..everyday..
..when I don’t feel like it…

To speak..even when there is nothing to say…
To engage in dull company..
To please the society..
To keep face..yet am annoyed..bothered..
..disgusted by them….
I refuse to be pretentious…I hate hypocrites…

Making others happy at the expense of me..
..a venture I will not indulge….
I refuse to sacrifice..I will not…
Compromise for the sake of them…
I am not obligated..
..they are not entitled to me..

My love..
My Kindness..My Generosity…
My sensuality..my passion….
My mind..my intellect..
I decide….
It’s my choice..to give or not to…
Its Mine...

The right to be what I want…
The right to stay alone..be silent..
Keep to my own….
No need to share..no need to say..
Where I am..what I am doing..
It's mine to decide….

They say its selfishness…
They say its self-centered..snobbish..
Mean, Cold….
I don’t care..
It’s my right..I am not obligated….
Please go to hell..Am not here to please you….

For its being me that makes me..
My choices to be how I am..
That gives me fulfillment..
Following my heart’s desires..
Loving me ruthlessly..
Guarding my independence….my space..
Cherishing my individuality….
Nurturing my esteem….
Keeping me safe…

It’s my right…let me be..
I owe no explanations…
Its mine..my right..my choice..Its ME…

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that frightens us most. We ask ourselves, 'Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and famous?' Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small does not serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that people won't feel insecure around you. We were born to manifest the glory of God that is within us. It's not just in some of us; it's in all of us. And when we let our own light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others.”

Nelson Mandela

I Moan With You... For You....

A somber day..
Things happened so quickly…
One minute things were better…
..The next minute he was gone…
No words to express...
The emotions felt...
blank stares...throats hurting...
trying to hold back the tears...
trying to be strong...
..No strength LEFT.....
Tears flowing..grief stricken....
Shock,disbelief...anger...bitterness....
Future seems bleak...What next....?

Same day,there is a wedding..
I must attend....
Celebrate the union of two people..
The skeptic that I am, doesn’t care for weddings…
..I feel guilty...for wondering if i will still get cake...
...i should be here moaning..feeling sad...
But what can i do here...am helpless...
The irony of this day…
One life ends….another begins…
Is that nature’s way of compensating??.
…..I wonder,...in silence...….


.Gone never to be seen again...
Only in Photos...memories...
The reality of it..
…...saddening…
Truly death is a bad reaper….
Seeing the tears….the grief in their eyes..
..A great loss...
A great life..coming to an abrupt end...

I cannot comprehend it..
Losing someone so close to you….
Ripped away from you in seconds…
The rudeness of Death..
The arrogance and blatancy of the Reaper….
No chance to bargain for more time..
.no time to say goodbye. to the ones you love...
The reaper’s business must go on……
…you have no choice..
No say…..


Going to a better place they say...
No more misery and suffering?...
They are now at peace….?
But are we selfish not to celebrate..
Wanting them to still be here.....
Stay to endure the tribulations in this world...
Should we feel guilty...?

..The dear loved ones left behind….
The emptiness…..
The void….no longer there to talk ,laugh with….
Left to accept the finality of death….


I moan my friend's loss..
I moan for the family…..
Not enough tears to make it better….
I can only offer comfort….
Cry together..Pray together..
For peace...understanding...

I feel a deep sadness….
....helplessness...
I wish i could bring your loved one back....
....But i cannot....
I do not have the power to do so..
..Even if i wanted....:(

Our dead are never dead to us until we have forgotten them.

GEORGE ELIOT, Adam Bede

May Your Soul Rest In Peace Pa.

The Sweet Forbiden....

My mind riddled..
..with the memories..pictures…
..You on my mind all the time..
I can’t seem to escape…
I am your prisoner…
The fierce force of my free spiritedness.
..rendered null..
Self-control unhinged....
Bound by your spell…
..am in a never ending trance...
I cant move...I cant speak...

Trying to stop thinking of you..
..An effort in futility..…
I try so hard..
But the more I try the stronger the pull....
You are tattooed…
..in my brain cells…
Your being flowing in my veins….
My heart palpitates with excitement..
..The thought of seeing you again...
You have possessed my whole being…
Not a second,a minute..passes by..
Without having sweet thoughts of you…..

I find myself saying your name out loud…
…when am alone…
I almost blunder…by calling someone else…
..Your name….
Confused I am…
..Scared that I might like you..
..more than I want to…more than you like me.....

Is it useless that I have ran away..
..all these years…?
Yet our paths cross again…
And I wonder is it fate..
Or cupids stupidity…?
The arrow has shot through my heart…
I feel it’s too late..
Can I pull it out..discard it…
Seal my heart…
Never to open it again …

I know it’s not a good idea…
I know that there is no future..
But still the likelihood of it..
Make me smile..
Thrills me…..

I fantasize about you….
When I touch myself…
I think of you…
Your soft lips on mine..
Your tender touch….
Your body against mine..
Pressing hard…
My loins burning…
Am on fire….exploding….
Consumed I am….perishing in this insane bliss….
I love..i lust..
I desire…I need…YOU…
But still; I know it’s a bad idea…
…a beautiful mistake…..


Please take me..I surrender...Consume me...

My Friend...I Seek...

A friend who listens…
When you have a problem..offers to help..
Provide solace when you are in despair
Not interrupt to speak of their own ishh..
Criticize and judge…
Such is the friend we seek...

A friend who offers support..
Provides a shoulder to lean on..
The strength that you need..when you feel weak..
The Armour when you feel defeated and hopeless…
A friend who gives you hope…..
Stands by you in difficulties…
That is the friend i seek...

A friend who is selfless..
Exceeds your expectations…
..sacrifices, compromises for the sake of friendship…
A friend who not only takes, but also gives….
That is the friend we need...


True, loyal,considerate and caring…
Not one who wants to compete..
Back-stab, talk ill…
Laugh at you when you are down…
Is envious of your successes…
Tries to sabotage….
indeed that's not a friend...

A friend who respects who you are.
Respects your space;your time....
Knows the lines and boundaries...
A friend who is dignified...
..one you are proud to call a friend...
Your confidant....your kindred spirit....


Such is the friend we seek,but sadly very rare...
You are surrounded by pretentious,opportunistic...
Self-centered ones...
..who only seek to bring you down...
Not caring what you are going through..
In hard times..they are nowhere
When you cry..you cry alone..
They are nowhere in sight..
..Only there when all is rosy...
Such are the friends who are in our lives.....

But i refuse to settle for shame..
I refuse to surround myself with falseness..
Negativity and drama....
I will wait for the friend I seek...
A true friend who builds not destroys....

Untitled....

Retreating back into the shadows..
Hiding away from it all..
Regretting the exposure..
wishing you could turn back time...
wishing you listened to the self-cautions..
....read the warning signs...
Your screaming conscience..trying to pull you back...
But you fought to go forward...
Defiance...foolishness...

Drawn to the danger..the enigmatic aspect of it all..
the supposed "happy" feeling you get...
The promises of excitement...life changing experiences...
...happiness beyond belief<------all lies!!
Attracted to what lies behind...the unsaid..unseen...unknown
..
Curiosity will surely kill..
But who cares...you dont care...
You insist on pressing on...
Believing you will handle it..
."My pillars for support are intact",you say....
Your grip tight..not to worry..you will be alright...

Then it all comes tumbling down..
You lose your grip...
Caught off-guard..baffled..confused..
Crashed underneath the pillars....ironical isn't it?
What is going on here?...you did not see it coming...
What a mess..everything destroyed...
Things will never be the same again...can never be...

You still try to be calm after the storm...keep up with the charade...
..But inside you are burning..like acid running through your veins...
It makes no sense...Everything seemed perfect...

Foolish child...the heart is not smart...
delusions..fairy tales...temporary insanity..
Certain things will never change...
After so many decades..its still the same old Bullshit...
You should have been wiser,but its too late...


You wonder and ask why..
...There are no simple answers..
Such is life...things are just the way they are..
No warning signs before you collide...
.No notice;that your life will be thrown into disarray...
Its not fair..its not right...
But life is not fair.....

From your superficial fantasies...
....to an everlasting nightmare..
Choking you..cant breathe...
You struggle to get free...but its too late..
The life is slowly draining out of you...
Your tortured soul floats away...
..In misery..dejected...
such an anti-climax...

And even in death you are still not free....forever bound...

You are YOU......Arise...

unfazed,unperturbed by the talk..
whispers..negative remarks..
putting you down..
trying to squash the you that you want to celebrate...

the mockery..the snide remarks...
The actions meant to hurt you...
frustrating your efforts..
As you try to make you better..
Positivity marred by constant bullying...

Self-esteem they try to break...
Criticizing your individuality...
What makes you unique..
Your pride..your mantle....

The inner beauty you exude..
unquestioned by they,who are genuine......
...BUT questioned by they who endeavor to kill who you are....
Your everyday smile...cheerfulness...
they try to wipe away..
bring tears..sadness..doubt...

Pulling you down..trampling on you...
squashing you like a worthless piece of shhhh...
pushing you to waste away in shame...
Ashamed of who you are....
hiding from what makes you..YOU....

....But I beseech you....

Do not agree to be brought down...
Arise,be proud....
You are wonderful...You are beautiful...
Love who you are..
No apologies for your uniqueness...
Never doubt your adequacy...
Walk tall...be happy...be confident...
Don't be swayed..don't be moved....

..Don't be deterred from fortifying the YOU....
You are important..You matter....
You are a gift of nature....
Your individuality is your power..hold on to it...
Do Not change,to please the simpletons..
So arise..Rise up high into the sky...spread your wings...embrace YOU....

Listen.....

Stop yapping and listen...
Stop whining about your problems and listen..
Stop humming silly songs and listen..
Be silent and listen...

Stop running around like a headless bird and listen..
Stop talking too much about others and listen..
Stop laughing too loud..
Drowning your friends tears..
..and listen....

Stop involving yourself in matters..
..that do not concern you..
Stop poking your nose around...
Stop minding other people's business..
conjuring lies..and Listen...

Stop squabbling with people every time..
..and listen...
Stop shouting..raising your voice..
hurling insults...spitting garbage from your mouth...
...And listen....

Stop playing the loud music...
meaningless lyrics..ear drum shattering beats..
and listen....
Stop the melodrama...and listen....

Stop being needy...opportunistic..
taking advantage of others.....
busy scheming and stepping on the toes...and listen...
Stop the games...stop the treachery....
..and listen...


Listen to your friend who is in pain...
Listen to the beautiful sound of silence
Listen to the last words of the loved one...
....who is dying...
Listen to the wise words....
Listen to the voice of reason in your head...
...listen to your conscience...
Listen to the calmness that comes with giving,kindness,thoughtfulness...


Stop....Shut Up...and LISTEN.....

Ode of a Skeptic....

The tears that you cry..
You cry every night..
Can you be heard?...
Trying to reach out..
No one there to hold you..
Embrace you..tell you all will be well…
Pain engulfs your heart..
You can hardly breathe…
So much pain..so much sadness..
How can love be so painful?…

Why should you open your heart ..
....Expose it to so much pain and anguish..
Frustrations…feelings of neglect..
Loneliness…
Ignored..unappreciated…

You love..You hurt..
No other way..
No one is perfect..
Expectations shuttered…
Amassed in Disappointments…

Asking yourself why..
Why fall when heartache awaits
How can the one you love..
Cause you so much pain…
Why can’t it be simple..easy…
No pain…just happiness
No tears…
Just bliss….boundless love…
Protected…fulfilled..
That’s what you wish…
But that; you do not get….

Should you stop yourself from searching?
Seclude yourself..be an island..
Is it in the nature..obligated to love..fall for?
....are you happier without the one?
So many questions..no answers…

Truth is…you want to love..
Be loved…
You want to feel relevant..
You want someone to care..
You want security...
Fulfillment..contentment….
Love is supposed to conquer all…
But it doesn’t….

To be free and alone..experience no pain…
Or love and open yourself to insurmountable pain…
A Whirlwind of heartaches…
Almost going insane from the never ending conflicts…
Losing your mind from the empty promises…
Tired of trying…being patient..waiting for it to be better…

Why is love not conquering all…
Because it doesn't...
Why isn’t love saving you from all this…
because its not the saviour of your hurt...
The truth is,it can’t..it won’t…

It's all a myth…a fable….
Centuries and centuries of deception….
Love gives you only pain…that's is the truth
It doesn’t change now neither will it tomorrow…
It seems meaningless if you do not hurt...
Then how can it be love...

So the skeptic says..but deep within, you still yearn for love…..

Excuse Me Miss....

Excuse me miss...
Can i whisper..
Something in your ear....



Or maybe you prefer..
me pulling you close...
squeeze you till u shudder...



or should i move close...
close enough to fill your lips tingle....



or should i just touch...
and not explore.....



Excuse me miss....
can i kiss your beautiful eyes....
or should i just put my hands..
Around your waist....



Or do you prefer...
i lay you down..
on the silk sheets....
and give you pleasure to no end....



Excuse me miss....May I....Can I...Should I..

She ..who makes me...

I close my eyes..i can smell you..touch you...



Your heart beat..every time you are close...

The pounding of your heart...makes me wet...

Your lips..soft....red and supple..just like fresh strawberries...



Your kisses..warm...

sweet and wet on mine...

I get paralyzed when our lips meet....

I wanna kiss you ..dusk till dawn....



Your sweet..ohh so sweet body scent..

Its like you soaked in jasmine all day..



Your soft chocolate skin..smooth like shear butter...

The tattoo of my name...on your lower back...



In those low ride jeans..

I can see the sexy dimples..just above...

Your beautiful ass....

two beautifully rounded cheeks...

I wanna squeeze...softly..and sometimes grab with intense passion....





With that white silk blouse on..

I see the outline of your perky breast..

Your nipples hard..so inviting....

I wanna touch them..

I wanna torture myself with the hunger to touch....



I wait...close my eyes...let my thoughts of you..

Engulf me in pleasure....

Its only me..with you engraved in my mind..

I touch myself...imagining that you are touching me..



Even with the distance....i feel like you are here..

Close...touching me..feeling me...

I ache for you every single minute...



You are my drug..am addicted to you....

Let It Rain...

The sound of the rain on the roof tops..
The fresh smell of the wet soil…
The mellow feeling inside..
Tucked in between the sheets…
Cuddling lovers..whispering sweet nothings..
Sharing the warmth of their bodies…
Time to share..
Cherished moments..sweet memories made…

The crackling sound in the fireplace…
The sound of thunder…
Swaying trees…dancing to the wind..
Pitter patter..raindrops on your window….
Nostalgic feeling…remembering..
The simple days…no complications…
When intentions were pure…unmarred..
Holding to that moment…
Never letting go…
Wanting to savor; freeze the moment…avoiding the now..
Now that things are sadistic, full of ill intents..
Manipulations…ungratefulness…
Deceptions…Malice…

Let it rain days on end…
Let me remember the sweet memories…
Good old days…happy times….
Please don’t stop the rain…
Am afraid when it stops…dryness comes..
Sadness….despair….
The sweet memories fade away….
The bitter memories take center stage…
Rain..please don’t stop…
I want these moments to linger forever…

Happiholic!!

Fulfillment is in kindness..generosity..
Giving without prejudice,
The joy you bring to another..
The happiness..the celebration you bring to another...

Satisfaction in the simple things..
Genuine gestures..no malice...
Untainted thoughts..intentions..
Loving who you are...
Appreciating that which is you...

Not obligated to care...
But because its a good feeling inside...
Touching people's lives..
Positive energy...
Laughter..peace..understanding..
Rainbows of good deeds...

Intoxicated with cheerfulness..
Dancing...singing...
Making love...passion...Romance...
Taking time to give a hug,holding hands...
Sit together in silence,watch the setting sun..

..the midnight call to say I LOVE YOU..
.Your love song playing on the radio..
..Sweet poetry...soul-caressing words...
Tender touches...warm embraces..
Soft kisses...mind-numbing pleasure...


Bliss..sweet dreams...
Smiling with no reason..
Overflowing with goodness..loveliness...
Everything is good...all is well...
Pure unadulterated happiness....

*Sigh*

Alone..yet surrounded with people
Trying to reach out...scream...no voice...
Void within your soul...your spirit in disarray...
Unattached...bare...nothingness...
No connection...dead as dry wood...

Empty spaces..
Lacking in jest..dullness..numbness...
No clarity...clogged up...
Suffocation...mental slumber..
meaningless conversations...
people's laughter...annoying and irritating...
You want to sit alone in the dark...
Embrace and drown in silence...

A need to cry..hours on end..
Something stuck in your throat..
You open your mouth..no words..only a sigh..
Tortured within your walls...
Something squeezing tightly....
Strung in hopelessness....

Sadness in the eyes..
Feeling desolate...emptiness...
Nothing to hold onto..you are alone..
You feel weak...no strength....
Desperate...falling off the wagon...
Need to get back..but no energy...
The life sucked out of you...
Empty shell...gazing into the dark...

Tired; oh so tired..
Need to sleep...wake up when all better..
Need the sunshine..Need the caressing feel of the sea breeze..
Need the laughter..the bountifulness
Need to feel whole again....

Hide..Keep Safe...

In the mind…Dark thoughts lurking..
No shame…uninhibited…..
Careless..care free..nobody can see..nobody knows..
The desires…buried within..
The world must not know…

The Dark secrets…shame…
No one can know…
You hide behind masks…
Fortified within..nobody can come close..
If they see; they will judge, criticize…mock you….

The heart barricaded…
Feelings suppressed…can’t express…
Fear of rejection…exposure…vulnerability…
Protecting your being…your weaknesses…

Must keep up with the façade..
Charades…acting on your own stage..
Role playing…hiding who you are…
Keeping the distance ..aloofness….
Pretending not to care….very cold…
No one can come close…no one can touch…
A legion of personas...
The real you shielded….

The ruthlessness of heartbreaks…
The pain of disappointments…
The gut wrenching act of rejection…
The ridicule of the masses..
The frightening feeling of being exposed….

Must protect…
Must hide…must keep sanity…
Must stay away from the ridicule…
Must retreat back in the shadows…
Suppress the darkness of the thoughts in the mind…
Must keep safe….
The only way you know how…is to hide…

Goodbye...

Mind flooded with thoughts..
Heart pounding..
A rush of blood in your head…
Palpitations..anxiety…anger..disappointment..

Questions unanswered..
Mysteries unexplained..
The instinct fails you…
Clueless..not even a whisper..
Will I know..Will I be told…

Something seems to be going on..
Something taken away from you..
Do you have to defend what you feel belongs to you..
Do you need to fight for it…
If its right..shouldn't it just be?...

Fate seems to be playing games..
Games that you don’t know how to play..
And win…
Stuck…Confused…disoriented...
Where to go from here
Which path to take from here…

When the truth comes out…
Pain lots of pain…
The heart gushes…blood…
Cuts like a knife…
Do you cry..do you wail…
Or do you keep silent..ignore it…

Knowing doesn’t make it better..
The truth doesn’t really set you free..
Betrayal…deceit….lies and more lies…
Silly games played…
Twisted…manipulated…
Selfish conquests…
Devoid of a conscience…
Driven by greed…selfish desires….

Friendship destroyed..
Never be the same..
The realization casting a dark cloud…
All this time…you were fooled..
Misled…Misguided….

And now…there is stillness..
Peace within..all resolved in the heart and mind..
Acceptance..embracing the reality…
No need to fight..no need to struggle…

Let it go..
Let it be….
Good riddance..Goodbye…Sayonara…

Memoirs Of A Beautiful Stranger..

Why should i give you my heart..
Yet i feel that you will make a travesty of it...
Handle it like the dust under your feet..
Trample on it and break it into little pieces.....

How can i trust you to guard my heart with your life..
When i can see you are careless....selfish..
You have thrown caution to the wind for anything i regard precious...

How can i share with you all that i hold dear..
When i see you will not appreciate it..
Taking for granted everything i hold close to my soul...
How do i give you my all...
When i know you will give me nothing......

How can i let you feel my spirit flow within you..
When i know it will be suffocated......
Dead...never to return...broken wings never to fly again....

How can i let you see my soul..
Yet every time you look into my eyes i feel my soul being gutted...
Gutted like an animal in the slaughter house...

How can i let you come close,feel my warmth..
Yet every time you make a step closer..
I feel cold as ice..freezing...trembling...
Draining the life out of me....

How can i let you have my beautiful body..
Yet i know it will be a conquest in your books..
Something to share with your friends...and brag about..
You will never treat it with majesty...
Neither will you treasure it and guard it like a precious gift from the gods....

How can i believe in a happy ever after....with YOU
Yet every time you make me cry and weep at night...
My smile fades away ever so often when am with you..
It seems like you endeavor to make me miserable....


How can i show you my emotions...
When i know very well,you will insult them...
Disregard them like garbage...
Trash them like they are worthless...
Spit on them as if they are nauseating to you....

I will not..I can not...i shall not.....I don't want to....

The Unspoken..

You want to open up..
Say all that is flooding your mind...
Every time you open your mouth....you cant speak...
....You are still waiting for the perfect moment...
You don't want to run your mouth like a lunatic..
You want the words to be perfect..precise...
It has to be the moment that is written..faultless...
...And when you finally do open up...
You realize you should have just shut up....that you really shouldn't have..
....

So many times you have stopped yourself from reaching out..
speaking out....
Always waiting for the right time...
But the time you think is right..Is not always the right time..
You end up wishing you said nothing....
You wish you ignored it......

Even when you think you have read the signs..
So clearly...
When you decide to let it flow
Releasing your mind from the torture of being a prisoner of all the unsaid...
You take a deep breath and decide its now or never...
You feel that its the time... time to say what you feel inside....
..............but when you finally do
...you realize it was a bad idea..
You shouldn't have...
The tiny voices in your head that were dictating you to say...now are there no more..
Awkwardness....Embarrassment....
You are left with a resounding feeling of rejection..
You feel foolish....
You were not guided well.....
Why did i follow my instinct..why did i listen to the voices..you ask....

Truth is;not saying is a burden
Most are heavy laden with the unspoken...
They fear..rejection
They fear to be mocked......
They don't want to deal with the unexpected response....
Silence plays...it seems wise...
But how long will your mind remain in limbo with all these thoughts...
How long will you let yourself be driven insane with the unspoken...
How long will you keep mum just not to be rejected....
Is it better to be tortured in silence..or to speak and be free...


Emotions....the battle we fight everyday..
Feelings....the load we carry on our shoulders every single minute
SILENCE........the cowardly way we refuse to deal..to live life....
The unspoken word....choking the life out of us everyday....
But are we bold enough..to SAY IT.....and at what price?

Take A Walk With Me..

As i walk in the labyrinth of life.....
i see things...most of them saddening...
..the atrocities...the shame...the madness of it all...
..am saddened and humbled at how lucky I am...


I see a mother..holding her 4 month old baby....
weeping..wailing screaming in agony....
blood all over her clothes....on the shawl covering her child...
what monstrosity....what evil....
an infant raped....a future destroyed....
Her once bundle of joy...now lying lifeless in her arms...
I can feel the anguish in her soul;her spirit shattered...
They have taken away her life..her joy..her happiness..
why did this have to happen...why why why... she asks....
There is SILENCE....no answers..just pain staring back at her....emptiness..

I see her eyes staring into space...no more hope..she wants to die...she has no reason to live...
I cry..my heart bleeds...what can i do..how do i take the pain away...
How many tears will it take..to wash her pain away....
How many loving embraces will it take for her to feel whole again...
How many words will it take...to mend her soul and her spirit.....
I feel helpless and disjointed....



I see another woman lying on the hospital bed..
bruises....cuts..broken ribs..slashed face...
Bleeding allover..
She is in intense pain....
I ask myself how could it be....
The one you love and cherish would put u through so much pain....
when does Love turn into something so brutal...
...when does the one u love,become the one u fear and abhor...

I look at her lying there..
Am disturbed..am sad.....pissed off..
I hold her hand....hoping it can relieve her pain...
Tears rolling down my cheeks...am trying to keep it inside...
But..i cant....
I feel like my soul is being whipped..my body aching allover....
am shaking and trembling...i have no more strength..
I can't keep it together anymore.....

Asking why...why did this happen....
...and again..there is SILENCE...only anguish and bitterness glaring back at us..
I take her in my arms and hold her...we both cry....for hours and hours...

I see people..struggling..people in pain...people in despair....
Am i just a passer by?..a spectator??....

....I think to myself;am comfortable why should i care....??
why should i carry other people's burdens...
Its not me..its them...

.............BUT it still gets me....
..........it bothers me...
If i could..i would...make it all go away...
..but that's not how it works....this is the life...this is the world we live in
of the haves and have nots..
the givers and the takers...
of those who have wallowed in misery since birth..
...and of those who no nothing of misery....

Is it unfair..YES...is it painful YES..is it sad..YES...
.....but that's the Script of LIFE.....

Conflicts of I..

Sometimes you want the tenderness; soft feathery touch of the hands…
…..other times you want to feel like the fingers are digging into your skin…


Other days you feel like a warm embrace; the feeling of contentment
..Some days you want a squeeze so hard you can feel the blood flow in your veins…


On occasions you want to feel elegant…long slinky dresses….pristine…cocktails and such…
..Other occasions you want to be rugged, carefree….cat-suits…whips…in the dungeons



Again..there are moments when you feel like a teasing nibble on your neck…
….Other moments you want to experience the grim blood sucking of a vampire…..on your neck


At times you want the Soft and Sweet wet kiss; lingering on your lips…
Other times you want the wholesome, passionate devouring kiss…..



There are days you want a passionate sensual love making at the beach
……other days you want a dark, raw, erotic, hard pounding…

At times you want to stay within the walls of normalcy. Sanity…Pure thoughts
..Other times you want to be in the open fields of insanity, Unconventional…..Dark thoughts…

……….where do YOU draw the line…..do you want to?..........

The Truth Deep Within..

You say that you are free..
.............yet you are a prisoner...tormented.....

you say your spirit is free to fly away like the birds...
........yet it is a captive of your own demons and nightmares..

You say you don't feel any pain...you never shed a tear...
.....Yet you cry every night from the anguish you feel in your soul..


You always have a smile on your face for the world to see...
........Yet you are sad and desolate..feeling shunned by the rest of the world....


You say you are numb...emotionless.....
................Yet you are almost drowning from an avalanche of emotions...

You say all is well and you are at peace...
.....Yet you are stuck in a jungle..nowhere to run..disturbed and in despair....


You say you are in control of every facet of your life...
.......Yet you have lost your grip...you are struggling to keep it together...


You say you don't want him....or her...
..yet you yearn and long for him...her for days on end...


You say that you are untouched..devoid of any form of reaction....
...Yet you are bothered...you are angered..you are moved....


You say it is not....
...YET IT IS.......

Simple Things

Sweet Jazzy tunes on a Sunday afternoon..
Your favourite song on replay.......
Incense..burning....flooding the air...
Scented candles...sweet french vanilla...
Black rose petals allover the french marble floor....
Love pillows..covered in organza..
Scarlet satin...

Intoxicating scents of jasmine and lavender....
Cool ocean breeze against the skin...
The Smoothness of chocolate butter....

The Glossy look of a well polished jet black vintage car...
the year.... 1975
The delicateness of a porcelain vase...

The feel of fresh green grass on your bare feet...
The Thundering sound of the waterfall against the rocks....
The chirping sounds of the birds at night...wanting to mate...

The warmth of the early morning sunshine on your face...
The breathtaking sunset.....
The sound of the rain on a tin roofed cabin....

The feathery touch of his hand against your inner thigh....
The warm breath...on your neck....
The deep passionate kisses.....
The tingle between your legs.....

The feel of silk sheets on your nakedness...
The feeling of his hardness inside of you...
The mind blowing orgasm.......

.......SIMPLICITY TAKES THE CENTER STAGE OF BEAUTY & PLEASURE......

unlocked...

The sweetness of honey..
Strawberry and cream..
The sweetness that is you..
I long..yearn...hunger for...

The soothing feel of soft music..
..serenading me..
My heart..filled with warmth
Happiness..contentment.....
The romance...the ecstasy...
Because of you....

The feel of your warm lips on mine..
Squeezing me tenderly...
Your hands on my waist...sliding down my..
The warmth of your breathe...
The wetness of your tongue...
The kisses..driving me insane...


So close to you...
Your heartbeat...
Your touch...feathery soft touch...
Like silk on my skin..so light..enchanting...
The tenderness in your eyes..the intrigue
Your voice..i shiver....

Making love..
Your body pressing against mine..
The warmth of your skin...
When you touch me..feel my wetness...
Mad pleasures...dangerous desires
Giving myself to you completely..
No hesitation...
My body..my thoughts..take me...

You set me free..
Feeling unhinged..uninhibited..
No longer imprisoned in societal norms..
Nothing else matters...just me..You
My world..you in it...

My spirit runs wild..
carelessly..unashamed...unbound...
Elated...uplifted...
Unlocked passions...dark desires..
Indulge...embrace...
Consumed with intense passion...

You are here..i feel free...
An oasis of sweetness...
The rush..the palpitations...
I lose myself..oh how i lose myself...
Totally..completely...

Her anger undone....

Am angry..
So so angry..
I cannot even breathe..
I cannot cry...

I want to pull my hair..
tear off my clothes..
pull my guts out..
Throw them to your face..

i am sickened..
Disgusted..
I am ill with ire..

I hate you..
I abhor you...
I cannot stand you...

Dark emotions..
Dangerous thoughts..
Of murder...
Wiping you off from all my spaces...

Too much time..
Too much patience..
Too many understandings..
I have accorded you...

But now you take me for granted..
You think that if you don't..it wont matter...
You crossed that line..
You crossed the boundaries..

Am up-to my limits..
I shall not give another chance...
Am done..
Gone..vanishing...
Not even a whisper shall you here from me...

Am pissed off..
enraged.....disappointed...

Tears of blood...
My chest caving in..
Its like acid on my skin...

And now...
All my vitals are frozen into ice...
I no longer feel...only void...emptiness..darkness...

Forget me...I have forgotten you...

Sayonara...

Shhhh...

The quietness of my spirit
The stillness of my thoughts..

Only soft whispers in my mind
Floating like a feather...

Alone with myself...
My space not invaded...

Pin drop silence..
Only music...my soul sings

Contentment..satisfaction..
At peace..no battles..no conflicts..no confrontations..
Freedom of self..no judgments..no criticism..
The panel is me...
I applaud myself...

In the presence of perfect solitude..
I stay.
I close my eyes...
Experience the sweet scents around me...

Quietness unmatched...
My soul sings..my spirit dances..my body cheers..
All in silence...

Shhhh...dont say a word.....

Sadness....

You seem to be listening
But you really cant hear me..

You stare at me..
But you really dont see me...

Am in your space...presence
But you really cant feel me there..

I reach out to touch you..
But you are not there...just an empty space.....

I want to yell...scream...
But you really wont hear me...

You will never see me...
I will never feel you...

You will never know am there...
My existence..means nothing to you...

The sun shall rise anyway...the stars will always be there..
But you will never hear,see or feel me...

Trapped in my own desires..wants..needs..
A prisoner of my own thoughts...
So i stay here and wilt away in despair....

Breasts

Breasts..Boobs…Tits…


Perky
Sagging..
Firm..
Tender…
Soft…
Full and round
Huge…small…Tiny…

Small nipples..caress..
Big nipples…suck…
Round nipples..tease…

Like sweet juicy melons..
Some like the tip of a strawberry..
Some tender like an almost ripe mango..just right..
Some succulent..you want to squeeze…

Beautiful work of nature..
Masterpieces..
The Gift to a woman….

Men and women alike can’t ignore..
The desire to touch..
The urge to put your tongue..
The eagerness to feel and gently squeeze..

So soft..sweet scent…like jasmine..
The warmth..makes the body quiver…
The tender feeling when you touch…
Goose pimples allover just by looking…

When you touch you can feel the heart racing…
When you lick you can hear the moans of pleasure…
When you squeeze..you can feel the sensuality of the woman ooze through her pores…
When you suck…you feel the passion gashing out….

Tits..Boobs..Breasts…